The "Disparaging Spirit"

A dear friend clued me into this phenomenon recently. How there seems to be a “Disparaging Spirit” that we all sorta have within us at varying levels. And is it a “spirit” or is it a subtle wave that moves through people and even more often through groups?  I’m not sure. But for now I’ll categorize it as a “spirit” that can take hold of a person. The “Disparaging Spirit” desperately needs both a host and an audience to live and thrive. It needs people it can engage, enlist and enroll into its never ending quest to be right. It can be very soft and quiet in some folks and extremely loud and obnoxious in others. But make no mistake, we all have it within us. The "Disparaging Spirit" is universal in that way. Personally I suspect the "Disparaging Spirit's" roots lie in the shade of unworthiness but who knows the motivations various people have underneath it all.

The “Disparaging Spirit” takes hold in us when we share and state out loud our low opinion of others with others. It’s exactly like casting a spell of bad seeds. The "Disparaging Spirit" starts out as a series of thoughtforms that then become verbal. Or written. Or recorded in a video. It can take many forms and yield many rotten fruits for both the host, those listening to the host and of course whomever is being slandered. The “Disparaging Spirit” often just wants to hear itself talk as much as it demands attention from others. And sometimes the “Disparaging Spirit” is so frightened that it will be discovered by its host (and others) that it clings desperately to itself until the host is totally overtaken and blinded. Desperate to be Relevant. Powerful. Wise. Whatever. Splitting (and justifying the splitting over and over) until the spell is cast! 

The “Disparaging Spirit” is insidious when it takes hold. It grips for dear life even on the smallest things so much so that the smallest things become the biggest things. There’s no room for the messiness and realness of life with the “Disparaging Spirit” because messy is what life IS. The “Disparaging Spirit” only wants what it wants and blinds its host from seeing the 95% of things going well. Going really well, actually. It only allows the host to see the tiny fraction that went sideways, went messy, went awry. The (occasional) human messiness of others becomes WHO THEY ARE to the "Disparaging Spirit" and the host can no longer relate to others in the same way. Bonds are broken and trust is shattered because of the "Disparaging Spirit."

The “Disparaging Spirit” doesn't care to see how it’s hurting others. How spewing the low opinion cast of others is *really* a reflection (or projection) of themself (onto others). And I say “them” here with clarity. The “Disparaging Spirit” often overtakes its host so the host can’t see him or her Self anymore. Can’t see the beauty of community. The beauty of friendships. The comfort of knowing that others have their back. The "Disparaging Spirit" only wants to be right. 

The “Disparaging Spirit” lurks at the edges wherever there are people because it’s a parasitic phenomenon that needs bodies to operate in and through. When the "Disparaging Spirit" has a strong hold of someone, the person is but a shell of themselves and can even hide the Heart-centered person other people thought they knew. The throat chakra of the host is blown open but disconnected from the Heart. The openness of the throat is connected to the fear and fluidity and power that reside below the Heart as well as the observations and insights from the upper chakras but somehow the Heart got skipped, so much so that the Humanity of others is completely dismissed. The Compassion that was once there becomes blank and cruel. The “Disparaging Spirit” cloaks (and chokes!) the Heart in the spirit of being right and being heard at all costs. Even if what's being said isn't even true or at the bare minimum is an exaggerated and wildly inaccurate distortion. All in the name of being right. ​

And how does the “Disparaging Spirit” get activated? Well. The world is chock full of fodder! Turn on the nightly news. Look at a political campaign. Go for a scroll on your social media accounts. Stand in line at a big box retail store on Black Friday. And then there’s a goopy cruel way that it can activate. Sometimes a course of study can activate the “Disparaging Spirit” in a host. Let’s say you’re studying the criminal justice system and you’re in semester after semester of classes on serial killers and the best way to deal with them. Maybe you begin to look through this lens at others in your life. You begin to overlay what you’re learning onto people in your life until you (hopefully) wake up one day and realize that the people in your life aren’t in fact serial killers! OMG, you’ve just been saturated in material that had you looking at your life and through this lens of serial killers. As it turns out, you can finally fucking relax! Everyone in your life is not a serial killer! This is an extreme example to be sure but the same is true of ANY course of study. You can’t help but overlay what you’re studying onto others. Whether it's astrology, psychology or…. serial killers. 

As much as the “Disparaging Spirit” demands to be heard, it can’t stand being called out. It needs a host to stay alive. So: I see you “Disparaging Spirit.” I see you clearly and how you cloud people in this world. And I pray that your hosts awaken to what's happening here to both themselves and humanity. Awaken to how you make things difficult for both the host and the people in their orbit. And I want to point out here that what I’m speaking of isn’t related to traumatic and completely tragic events of this world - like poverty, slavery, addiction or war. Those things need our strong words sometimes to wake people up! What I’m talking about is the "stuff of life", like... what meal is served, for example. Sometimes we’re just humans trying to figure out how to relate to one another in community - juggling disparate personalities, food allergies or offering compromises in a spirit of radical hospitality.  Trust that, in general, folks are doing the best they can. That they have your back. That you’re liked as a person for exactly who you are and what YOU bring to the party. There’s room for everyone to be Wise. For everyone to have a say. Someone else shining brightly doesn’t diminish YOUR shine, sis (or bro). Truly. Disparaging words about real people in your life are never going to be the answer. 

I’m reminded of an old Negro Spiritual hymn I grew up singing. I’m the daughter of a preacher and we were very often invited to the Black churches to worship. In fact, I will often work with hymns to dispel the “Disparaging Spirit” within myself when I see the disparaging thoughtforms start to come alive in me. Because hymns take real physical and mental energy to process, leaving little space for disparaging thoughts and words to manifest about people in my life. There’s the musicality of hymns, the words themselves and then the meanings of the hymns. Often the teachings there are just what I needed to hear. And for me, a desire to cast the spells of hymns will often fill that “spell casting” desire that I, as a human, innately have. That we all have. Casting spells gives us vitality and power and is often one of the things the “Disparaging Spirit” is itching for, I’ve noticed. It’s just that the “Disparaging Spirit” is so, so… well, disparaging!

So in that spirit, this hymn was always a favorite of mine. Maybe you know it too. 

I’m gonna lay down my sword and shield,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside;
Gonna lay down my sword and shield,
Down by the riverside,
Going to study war no more.

Chorus:
I ain't goingt' study war no more,
Ain't goingt' study war no more,
Ain't goingt' study war no more.
Ain't goingt' study war no more,
Ain't goingt' study war no more,
Ain't goingt' study war no more.

Going to lay down my burden,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside;
Going to lay down my burden,
Down by the riverside,
Going to study war no more. 

[Chorus]

Going to try on my starry crown,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside;
Going to try on my starry crown,
Down by the riverside,
Going to study war no more. 

[Chorus]

Somehow this hymn feels relevant when dealing with someone seized with the "Disparaging Spirit."  Best to not engage. Let it be. Pray. Send Metta. Especially to those who may disparage me and disparage those I love.  

May it be so.