What if the violence and clashing we're witnessing is really about an unmet desire for physical connection? What if the psychology of 'the bully' archetype so rampant in certain communities is really about a deep fear of being unacceptable? I wonder what would a proactive intervention, simply as a thought experiment, with a bully look like?
​
Here are my working thoughts on this topic. Or, perhaps this is how I'm trying to cope, who knows.

• The first step for me is both the simplicity and challenge of forgiveness. To oneself and to the bully. I ponder: when have I, perhaps inadvertently, been a bully? Connecting on that level by seeing myself (no matter how subtly) in the other helps. We were all shitty children to each other at some point. Some folks have a harder time evolving out of it that's all. 
• Then it's time to reframe, regroup and reorganize the relationship to the bully, within myself and others. A bully is an archetypal phenomenon, it's nothing new and shiny. It's good to remember that and keep things framed this way. In some ways, it's not even personal. In fact, on the upside, the friction around a bully can instigate profound transformation.
• Next, it's time to summon the clarity to be consistent and stay cool. We don't fight fire with fire and bullying a bully is absurd. It's possible for equanimity to be cultivated within oneself around these things. 
• Finally: I know this from experience --> bullies have immense power even as they nurse a tender inner coward who feels threatened in some way. Are there ways to help inspire the bully to focus that power towards heroic action instead of self loathing and lashing out? 

I ruminate these things as an ongoing, personal thought experiment. For example, I wonder what might happen if the peace that passes all understanding were to unveil gracefully in the hearts of those who participated in the Capitol Riots? Oooo, or better yet, Donald J. Trump himself?

What if we were to collectively launch a thought experiment where we envisioned forgiveness, regrouping and consistency with a prayer for peace?  Just like ball players do before a big game. They imagine specific drills and shots so that when the time comes, they are at-the-ready. What if we (those of us who feel called) got "at-the-ready" for transformed hearts? What amazing heroism could be revealed for humanity? As a platform to move forward with minimal resentment.  To recalibrate. To ultimately heal.

It doesn't mean accountability isn't called for or necessary. In fact, quite the contrary. All I'm suggesting is that these steps (for me) allow a path to move forward without poisoning my own heart. 

May it be so. 

Both the kids are out of the house and in college. They both have their own struggles and successes with this new and challenging semester. (How Paul and I are doing is a whole other story!) While my boy is four hours away and just starting his college experience, my girl has been on her own for a few years now. Covid and all things tumultuous have really shaken her world and after a few weeks of living with us between semesters, I finally captured all the knowledge I have been trying to impart in words and in my own example: the importance of sleeping well and waking clearly and having a rhythm with the day, especially when times are trying. Here goes... Maybe it's useful for others as well.

Purpose: to offer my daughter, who is equal parts a disciplined Warrior Spirit and receptive Sensitive Creature, a basic practice to help with sleeping, studying and living the best possible life “during these times” or anytime, really.

What is a sadhana? Quite simply, a sadhana is the daily (spiritual) practice that informs and enhances your life to one of purpose and detachment. A sadhana requires real discipline and the ability to “show up” for yourself day after day, week in and week out. The one outlined in this document has no religious or overtly "spiritual" aspects to it. Please know that my personal sadhana is much  more robust. This is merely a trustworthy and firm foundation full of practicality and “mom-sense” to help you wake a little clearer and sleep a little deeper.
​
Upon waking:

• Wake at a consistent time everyday and only very occasionally sleep in. A consistent clock for yourself naturally gives the rest of your life consistency. Most mornings I get up at 6:45am, nonnegotiable. Unless I’m getting up at 6am that is. Some of my personal practices require an earlier start time on some days.
• DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR PHONE. Those first impressionable moments of the day are mega important. Harness this time by meditating for a few minutes, first thing. We meditate for 20 minutes every morning but 5 minutes will absolutely do the trick. Even just 5 minutes will work to stabilize your morning and whole day. Dedicate a “spot” in your house for this activity. Sit there every time you sit if possible. It builds a certain “charge” in that area that will actually help you continue to meditate as time goes on.
• Stretch for a few minutes. I personally do 9 sun salutations but you can do just 5 minutes of basic stretching. This wakes you up and gets breath and blood moving. Papa does an hour-long hot yoga class 3 times a week just to give you a sense. Real exercise everyday is important.
• Coffee (or tea) and the news. Read KERA app (for local news), NPR app (for national perspective) and BBC app (for global perspective). It’s good to know what’s going on in the world. It makes you a better, informed citizen. Occasionally I look at other sources because it’s good to know the dangerous and slanted perspectives too. Above all, do not read bullshit news on Facebook. Ever.
• Shower (if you do the morning shower thing - I personally do not) and get fully get dressed. Completely, like what you’ll be wearing for the whole day.
• Make your bed. This is nonnegotiable every single day.
• Eat something, ideally something easy to digest like fruit.
• Fuss with your plants: water them, talk to them, dedicate time to them. 
• Write down three unique things you’re grateful for in your journal. Studies show that this practice literally grows new brain neurons. Oprah taught me this and I’ve been doing it for well over six years now. And besides, carrying a journal all the time is very handy you’ll find.

Live your day:

• Look at your calendar and get oriented. This is when I draw a daily card that serves as a companion to my schedule. After seeing my schedule, who is it that walks with me and offers me wisdom today? And then I draw a card. 
• Drink lots of water and aside from bedtime tea, that should be all you drink the rest of the day.
• Stay off the social media if you can, it’s seriously not relevant to a productive day. It’s all about training focus in your work, your work ethic and your art.
• Eat a good, healthy lunch. Lunch should be your largest meal of the day. It’s important.
• If you take any vitamins do it during the day so they’re sure not to interfere with sleep.
• No caffeine after 4pm. Period.

Winding down your day:

• Eat dinner together and if possible at a consistent time, ideally earlier than later.
• Do the dishes. Do not let dishes sit overnight. This will sabotage you over time.
• Check in on the socials but don’t get dragged down.
• If you watch a show, evening is a good time to do that.
• Alcohol only once or twice a week, max. Alcohol is notorious for interfering with sleep.

Time for bed:

• Shower, if you shower. Or take a hot bath. Wind down with water.
• Drink warm tea, no caffeine. I prefer Sleepy Time but Smooth Move occasionally keeps things moving along in a really satisfying way ifyouknowwhatimean.
• Read, knit, do something that naturally isn’t on a screen and lets your mind burn off any extra steam.
• Meditate for 9 minutes, non-negotiable. (Do not look at a screen after meditation.)
• Sprinkle lavender on the pillow.
• Go to bed and genuinely ask of your Higher Self to untangle and heal your anxiety through dreams.

Weekly:

• Do an hour yoga restorative yoga class at least twice a week. Use gravity and deep stretches to channel physical and mental anxiety into the earth itself.
• Clean your house and do laundry. It seems obvious but making it part of your weekly sadhana lets your space “talk back to you” in a positive way, reinforcing good habits in a beautiful environment that you like to be in. You will find yourself inspired over and over with a weekly clean.
• Plan your meals once a week and shop only once or twice at the store per week. Time put in for planning makes for a very easy week when you’re busy. You’ll also save a F-ton of money.
• Get in nature somehow, someway. Even if it’s coffee on the patio at sunset on Sunday evening. Go for a walk a few times a week. Make it a THING in your life.
• Have a weekly meeting with your partner where you review the upcoming week with regards to food, schedules and more. It’s also a good time to reflect on the previous week – to become self-aware of that argument you had on Tuesday or whatever. It’s also a safe time to once-a-week bring up things that can be hard to bring up. If you have a standing meeting that’s practical in nature, it becomes a natural time to bring forth some of that awkward stuff and be thoughtful, kind and conscious about introducing it into the mix. Sit in the place where you meditate daily to have this meeting, harness the “charge” you’ve been building in that spot. This is THE secret to a 22-year marriage we’ve found.

Sanity Sadhana:

• Borrow feng shui books from the library and study them at length over time making little tweaks in your home as you’re able.
• Space Clear your home at least once a semester.
• Build a master list of accounts with contact information and account numbers for internet, electricity, etc.
• Buy a metal bank box to store your bills and important documents, insurance, titles and so on. This is immense peace of mind if something happens and you have to move fast. 

​May it be so. 

I've been performing a quiet, personal science experiment for the last couple of years that entails wearing certain colors on certain days. (Longer time readers and friends know I love a good science experiment.) It goes like this: the names associated with the days of the week are in alignment with certain planetary bodies. Meaning, when we say in English "Sunday" we are referring to the Sun. "Monday" is referring to the Moon. "Tuesday" is pointing to Mars, although the Latin based version of things, as in Martes, which is Spanish for Mars Day. And so on. 

If you consider it for a moment, we collectively align over and over in conversations, receipts, emails, court documents, news articles, so on and so forth in reference to the day. In fact, you probably see or hear the day of the week you're living on that day hundreds of times, reinforced over and over and over in multiple dimensions, like a mantra. 

As I've mentioned, each day of the week aligns with a celestial body but also a certain set of attributes and colors. I stumbled across the concept ages ago during one of my yogic-ayurvedic-study adventures and then a couple of years ago decided to give it a try for myself. What does it mean to align with the "energy" of a particular day of the week? Does it make a difference?  What happens if I don't wear as much grey, black and brown? What happens if I wear the "wrong" color on a particular day? Do I even own all the colors in my clothing? Where do I even start with this science experiment? Are there other changes that I notice as I wear the colors, particularly as they pertain to the chakras? What if I charted my progress in a spreadsheet? Hm... 

I made myself a little chart based on my various research adventures:

(Please note - these are my personal notes captured in chart form based on an amalgamation of LOTS of this stuff floating around in various reference materials. It's my personal version of things and the data set I'm using for my personal science experiment.)
​
Over the last two and a half years I have been wearing colors that correspond to the days of the week. And yes, over time I have noticed some shifts. If forced to articulate them, here they are:

• ​Wearing a colorful palette is like eating a colorful palette. It feels surprisingly well-rounded somehow. 
• I like wearing color. I find that I feel uplifted. I didn't know that clearly about myself before. 
• I'm now conscious to do certain tasks on certain days if possible. For example, if I have something that requires a lot of focus I might "schedule" for myself on a Wednesday, the day of communication, wearing verdant green. If there's something I need to do with money, I might consider a Thursday as it's considered a day of abundance. Not that I can't or am somehow unable to do certain things on certain days, but if I have control of when or how something will go, sometimes I'll align it with the color and the day.
• Sometimes I can feel the "emanation" of the color when I wear it. Red is most palpable in my experience but they all have a "Feel" to them, for sure. Wearing different colors definitely affects my mood. 
• Yes, I have noticed chakra associations with wearing certain colors. Not sure I can articulate this fully but there really is some value in wearing tons of yellow, for example, and its affect on my solar plexus experience. Merely one example of seven. 
• I have found that I don't have to wear a certain color head-to-toe, totally monochromatic. (Although it can be mighty powerful when I do!) For example, I can pull a dress out to wear with many colors on it and simply make a point to resonate with a particular color on the dress on a particular day.  
• People actually respond to differently to different colors. There's a ton of power to colors and how they subtly communicate with others. 
• I've observed a reduction in decision making fatigue with regards to what to wear. In fact, it's been a god-send. Each day, I choose from a limited set of options for a particular day. And in turn, I evenly wear out my clothes. And bonus: I barely have to shop anymore so that's also awesome! 
• During these pandemic times, it's been helpful to keep my days straight.  I don't wonder so much Is it Wednesday or Thursday? like how I hear others lament. I simply pull the color for the day and go for that color ride. I'm 100% clear what day it is. 

In the end, I like it. It's a fun, ongoing experiment because the energy of a particular day is already in motion by virtue of simply being named as it is. Wearing the resonate colors for each day simply functions as a subtle "merging technology" where you swim with the big current instead of against it. You work with 'what is already so' to amplify and inform yourself. In essence, you ride a widespread wave already in motion through color and symbols because, at large, we're all in agreement what day of the week it is. If this color technology idea resonates, I'd encourage you to give it a try! Science experiments are fun. And yes, I totally have a tracking spreadsheet. It is an ongoing experiment after all. 

​May it be so. 

Image above and below are geometric demonstrations of the five petaled Rose of Venus from one of my reference books.  
​
Sometimes you feel it in your bones when it's time. Like, it's time. Heck, between Sister Coronavirus, the widespread and long overdue civil and social disruption coupled with deep, deep self-inquiry at the individual and community level about systemic racism, 2020 has been a helluva year so far. And it's only June, folks. 

Good thing there's always a higher cosmological order to choose to align with. Venus (the planet) makes a fascinating and beautiful geometric Rose in the Sky over time alternating as the Morning Star and Evening Star, captivating star gazers around the world for centuries. If this is new to you, please know it's a measurable, scientific, fascinating and indisputable phenomenon with zero woo-woo factor. It works like this: from the perspective of astronomers who measure these things from Earth, the planet Venus makes a beautiful geometric rose shape shown above over the course of several years. The image you see here is a 32 years time lapse representation and the basic eight-year rose is similar, just less intricate.  The astronomical numerology shakes out with five conjunctions of Earth and Venus (to create the the five petals) occurring every eight orbits of the Earth (to make one rose) around the Sun for every thirteen orbits of Venus. 

Now it's worth noting that these numbers and Sky Roses have been inter-generationally tracked across almost every culture for centuries and centuries. Furthermore the "energy" of this mysterious geometric Rose in the Sky has been associated with feminine divinity in the an indisputable cross-cultural way through the personification as Venus, Aphrodite, Innana, Ishtar, Mary and Mary Magdalene just to name a few. In addition, these energies are associated  with the actual rose flower here on Earth because it mirrors the floral imprint in the heavens. Fascinating, right? But it makes sense too. And buyer beware: this is a whole rabbit hole you can go down if you wish. Search also carefully and with a discerning eye but know I am totally not making this up.

To break this down a bit more, this geometric pattern of the five petals of the Rose of Venus are also reflected in phyllotaxis, or the arrangement of plant leaves on a stem, in the most mind-bending way. Phyllotaxis structures are based on the endlessly fascinating and ubiquitous Fibonacci sequence: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21...  The series works by adding the two previous numbers to build the sequence. 1+1=2; 2+1=3; 3+2=5; 5+3=8; 8+5=13 and so on. The sequence shows up in everything from honeybees to pineapples and pinecones and the human body - life itself and is an almost-identical cousin to the math of the Golden Mean. The most common number in the sequence in flowering plants? Pentagonal forms or five petals. If the Rose in the Sky as the path of Venus is "as above" then the "so below" would be the rose itself, which manifests the Fibonacci series in its growth patterns. And, as stated, the five conjunctions of Earth and Venus (to create the the five petals) occur every eight orbits of the Earth (to make one rose) around the Sun for every thirteen orbits of Venus.  5, 8 and 13. 

Here's where the timing comes in - new Rose starts this very month. A New Rose, friends! All this said and examined, I'm choosing to start another science experiment for myself. What does it feel like and look like for me to line up with that higher celestial order at this time in human history? I feel inspired to re-order my creative projects as Aurah to land here in a fresh orientation that lines up with the transcendent order. A place where inspired projects and writing can rest in their completion phase as I (as Aurah) complete them. (And as I figure out what they are!) I have a ton of creativity running in my blood and several projects underway in various stages of process. (It's kind of like that phenomenon of having five or six books on the bedside table at one time.)  I see that it's Time for a new Home for everything. Time to integrate and own myself as myself. Time to evolve. Time to use my gifts in service to whatever feels right and good to serve or speak about. 

And truth be told, I just flat out like to blog and so that will live on this website too as a reincarnated Field Notes blog. After all I've done this blogging exercise in various forms for literally decades. (For close friends, remember my old 2008-2012 Refresh Button blog?) So what should one expect here on the new Field Notes blog? Similar content to the Dispatches blog, I suppose. Time will tell. I remain open-minded because I don't know what I don't know about the next eight years as a new Rose unfurls in the Sky. Do you?  

In the end, I just know in my bones that it's Time. Like I said, it's Time for a lot of things. Time for me to chronicle, to document, to unpack, to explain, to share and to evolve. I do this for myself and anyone else interested in following along.  I figure there's no better way to confidently stride forward in style for the next eight years as another Rose unfolds in the heavens. And hey, if we obliterate ourselves as a species, I'm weirdly comforted that the infinitely unfolding Rose will be just as Beautiful, with or without us. It's Nature's nature to Heal Herself. 

May it be so.